Letter to Kim Kardashian

Dear Ms Kim,



I have only recently heard bout your video with Ray J through my friend. Yes this is old news for some but it was new for me.

Being a watcher of "Keeping up with the Kardashians" you sort of starred in many of my boyish fantasies.

Due to this you must understand that I was like a 5 yr old on Xmas morning when I got home. I started surfing the web for this video that you "starred" in.

Found a site that does online streaming of such videos and had to wait a whole half hour for it to load. I was prancing up and down all excited like a soon to be father of a newborn prancing up and down outside a delivery room.

I finally got it all done and sat down to watch the show that i was so anticipating for. I must say that I am utterly disappointed.

You lay there like a a cold piece of salmon on a grill. when u were done on one side u simply flipped over. You have crushed my fantasies.

You were to me the Goddess of Asses but you didn't live up to expectations. You didn't make use of your ASSets in the video at all.. there was no doggy no cowgirl no reverse cowgirl. just a cold fish being flipped over without making hardly any sound whatsoever. How could you Kim ? How could you kill my dreams ?

I strongly suggest for any future productions of this nature you take into consideration what I have said.

Regards,

Tas Gill

P.S : Does Khloe have any such videos ? lol


In the world of the blind the one eyed man was King - anonymous

the Snake within

some people call me a snake.
I would like to take this time to agree.
I shed my skin when the situation calls for it.
I don't harm others. I don't do it to be unrecognizable by my peers.
I am not a snake in that aspect.


I do it to shed of bad parts of my life.
to shed of something i would like to forget.
to come out of the situation standing strong and proud with a fresh vibrant skin coat.


in that aspect a Snake i am

I only bite if I feel threatened.
and that's nothing to do with being a snake.
its human nature.
but like a rattler a warning will be given before the lunge is made

"You know, you can touch a stick of dynamite, but if you touch a venomous snake it'll turn around and bite you and kill you so fast it's not even funny."
Steve Irwin

good luck Tas

most of you should remember the movie "Good Luck Chuck"
for those who don't ... seriously ... what the hell are u waiting for ?
GO WATCH IT!


the story is bout this guy who got cursed by a girl when he was devil worshiping girl when he was younger that which ever girl he has a "relationship" with will marry the next guy she dates.

now u must be wondering why Good Luck Tas then ?

well there is a twist in my version.
the idea came about when Nemo and I walked into Botak Jones at Woodlands and saw my ex with her new bf.
initially it put me off.
when I saw her I was like WtF!!!
I was so irritated i couldn't think and forgot to try and recognize who the new bf was.

anywho...

the bf walks over to the drink shop to buy a drink.
this made for a better look at him and from what i saw he was trying to see who I was as well.
now I don't know if this was coincidence or the fact that his nut sack probably slammed on to the floor once he recognized me....but he dropped whatever he was holding in his hands when trying to walk back to his gf.

I was all smiles

You might ask why would he be scared.
well back in the day I was the reason he had to get a nose job done.
it was so awesome knowing that she was dating a loser.
one that hides under the skirt of his uncle.
the uncle that lifts his skirt and runs when he sees me.


and based on Nemo's observation.
I am better fucking looking! wahahahahahahaha

He can have my sloppy seconds :)
haven't smiled this wide in years.

so yeah after all this I was thinking back on past relationships ... naturally.
and the issue has always been that parents don't accept me due to vibrantly colorful past i lived.

and that my dear readers is the reason why from now on I can be called Good Luck Tas.

Ladies.... if your parents are very strict and have issues with the idea of you dating around.
Come see me. I will straighten the situation out.

Once they learn that you are dating me. They will accept anybody .. just as long as it isn't me :)

Sort of a win-win situation if you ask me.

Cheers

"you can call me Sir Edmund Hillary" - Tas

eventful Sunday

remember the days when the white skinned ppl use to frequent the beaches of Sentosa ?
I think those days are coming to an end.
what was seen yesterday was a culture shock.
Indian Nationals / China - men / Filipinos / Indonesians / Punjab men with boom boxes playing dhol beats - were the main occupants of the once beautiful island resort.
and the handful of white women that we did manage to see were chased off with the cat calling of these ppl.

Sentosa should learn how to Quality Control....seriously.
Impose some sort of fine for these ppl who misuse the island and torment the proper crowd.
Don't make the Resort Island of Singapore look like as if it is in competition with Batam.



I know some people are going to say that what I am saying is not fair.
tell that to the women that were harassed with the so called "paparazzi" following their every move with camera phones.
Using the sinks in toilets to take baths ? what the fuck is that about. The showers are fucking vacant.

ok now that the complaining is done. lets continue over to the events of the day

drinking from 2pm to 11pm
(beer belly - Check!)
beating Indonesians at beach soccer
(cuts on leg + suspected broken toe - Check!)
running into the open sea after
(salt water on wounds = pain - CHECK!!)
drinking somemore to hydrate myself
(doesn't work - Check!)
losing to Indian nationals at beach volleyball
(embarassing - Check!)
Doing a Baywatch run towards a Beach Patrol Buggy
(Don't run when drunk - Check!)
taking a shower with one bar of soap divided into four
(Paki stand by with food while bathing - Check!)
Eating like scavangers
(Free food taste good - Check!)
Getting ready like a bunch of girls while the girl in the group waited for us
(We are too cool - Check!)
Walking down to Cafe Del Mar for Sandsasion Sundaz
(waste of time - Check!)
driving drunk to Tanjong beach to check out "The Shack" - old KM8
(No Banglas! / Indian Nationals / China-men / Punjab boom box men / Indons / Pinoys - Check!)
Standing at the carpark listening to house music making plans while the Mel falls asleep in one of the cars
(4 drunks not good at making plans - Check!)
Drunk driving down to Siglap in a two car convoy while passing 1 Traffic Police Car and 2 Traffic Police bikes undetected
(Drunk men make cautious drivers - Check!)
Watching Chelsea beat Manchester Uniteds ass in Penalties.
(Awesome fucking day comes to an end - Check!)

"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on" - Joe E. Lewis

weekend is HERE!

the weekend is here

preps for cafe del mar on a sunday sandsassion are in place
company in place
but since i am gonna be in sentosa from the afternoon
i am thinking of building a sandcastle
i have no idea why
but i have the urge to build something
maybe its due to the lack of constructiveness that i have been facing
whatever it is
a sandcastle it will be
i wonder what i should name it


havent jogged for 2 weeks now
feel like a fat fuck again
stupid flu isnt helping matters
fucking irritating sniffs


sunday at del mar would be good
a long needed soak in the sun