Over the past few days I have been feeling somewhat dazed and lethargic. I needed an escape from reality. To live in a fantasy of some sort. Thank God Ms Qatar came to the rescue. She was flying down for a flight and since she wasn’t using her Hotel room, she offered it to me for an escape. So naturally I accepted the offer as I needed to sort stuff out. And this could somewhat be taken as a holiday away from home –literally.
So when I got to the room I an Ms Qatar chatted a bit and then she was off to do the stuff she had planned to do. I wasted no time in filling the tub with steamy hot water and jumping in together with a copy of Jackie Collins’s “Married Lovers”. What can I say .. the woman is an excellent author. And about 2 hrs later when the water had gotten all warm and my skin all wrinkly like I was not 28 but 82 instead, I got myself out of the relaxing soak and took Jackie Collins to the bed. And after another hour or so... I had worked up an appetite :P
So this is where the idea of my “Social Experiment” came about. I pulled on my “Hogwarts School of Magic & Wizardry” t-shirt and put on a pair of OP beach shorts. With the Novel in my hand I decided to go down to the coffeeshop near Zouk. Since it was daylight out and I had a novel in my hand I guess the vendors of the various stalls thought me to be a foreigner. There was a girl standing at the Char Kway Teow stall. Chinese – mid 20s – not too bad looking – Singaporean (not one of the PRC asswipes). So I decided to have some fun
“Excuse me... could I have and order of Char Kway Theow” – I said sprouting an Ang Moh accent.
“Sure Sir... you want the $2 one or the $3 one” – She replied with a smile on her face like i was some kind of movie star.
“I’m rather femished so I guess that would be the one that’s $3”
“Sure Sir... Have a seat.”
Then it was time to do the same to the drink vendor. Once more in an Ang Moh accent....
“Excuse me could I have an Iced- Coffee”
“Sure Sir ... Have a seat I will bring your order to you”
I took my seat and opened up the pages into the world of “Married Lovers” and after roughly about 2 mins the drink vendor arrives with my “Kopi-Peng”
“ Hi Sir, here’s your Iced-Coffee”
“Thank you”
And that was followed by the arrival of the “Char Kway Teow” ...
“Sir... Your Char Kway Teow” – another girl had delivered the order .. same race same age group but a tad bit better looking then the last – not to forget she was all smiling and cheery
“Oh Thank You...How much do I owe you for that?” – still sprouting the accent
“That would be $3 Sir”
“Sure” – I handed over 2 $2 notes
“Here’s your change Sir – Enjoy your meal” – still all smiley
Now here’s the thing. This is not my first visit to this same coffeeshop. Why do Singaporeans behave this way when they think the guy they are speaking to is a foreigner? Isn’t being from what is considered to be Asia’s Capital good enough? Do I have to be from some White-raced empowered country to get someone to be polite to me in this nation?
This is how the same order would have taken place if I had come in without a slang....
“Char Kway Teow - $3 – Eat here”
“K – Sit where?”
“Smoking area”
“Ok go sit”
And the drink order...
“Uncle Kopi-Peng”
“Go Sit I bring”
“K”
And when the order comes
Drink order
“Hello - $1.50”
“Thanks”
Char Kway Teow order
“Lai $3” – followed by the slight push on the plate when put onto the table
“Thanks” – handing over 2 $2 notes
“Na!” – handing back the change.
Its quite sad if you ask me that the people of this country do not find the need to be polite to their own.
Singaporeans should learn to drop the whole “angkat bola” attitude and learn how to be nice to their own people as well – despite colour, race or religion. The white men have come and gone. They ruled and they left. Yet the mentalities of the Singaporean average Man is still conqured.
